Imagine your standing there holding your amazing baby.
You both are quite content.
Then the (what I like to call) "Baby Bi-polarism" kicks in... your child goes from angel to devil's spawn in 2 seconds flat.
Your child starts screaming BLOODY MURDER
This is especially awesome when you are in let's say "Target" printing pictures. Awesome Lola, what do you want me to do? rip the photo card out of the machine and run?
Oh and lets not forget the lady next to me "Oh poor thing...does she have a bottle or something?"
Really? that's all I need? a bottle? Golly Gee! I will go grab one now! <~~~ Sarcasm for those who don't get e-feelings
Ok. so EVERYONE is staring at me now... and it really doesn't help that I look like a teenage pregnancy case. Everyone HATED me in that store.
So back to the point... I know the face before she starts screaming.. It is the "distress" face (see picture)
She gives me this face followed by three deep breaths. I repeat "three deep breaths."
So you see... if I divert her attention during these three breaths... I am GOLDEN!
So if you see me dancing around with a rattle in my hand on the street. I am not a crazy woman! I am just trying to keep Lola happy... She is really into public humiliation these days :)
3 comments:
hahahahaha...oh this is the cute humiliation, wait until she is a four year old asshole who knows WAY more than you ever could and decides to let you know that only when you are in front of people-don't get me wrong-i love my little mean child i'm just saying, these are the ones you enjoy, because when you look back on them, they were the best of times!! i do love it though how "she must be hungry" is always everyone's answer to a screaming child-as if you wouldn't have fed her without a friendly reminder. people are such douchebags.
Sorry I must add more... I thought of this post today when I had to pull my screaming five year old out of Baskin Robbins by the arm with people staring at me like I was crazy because she slapped me-RIGHT IN THE FACE-when I told her she wasn't getting sprinkles today. Talk about embarrassment!
Where the hell did I go wrong here? SOMEBODY PLEASE SHOOT ME!!! I love you :o)
ok, can i just chime in here, i remember 2 very cute little girls always causin a ruccous in public. Like Kristen said you look back on them as the funny and best stories. Jessie, your daughter is beautiful just like you.
Love ya
Merri
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